In Storm

When I was a kid, I was told that life can give you sunny days and rainy days.

I thought they were talking about the weather.

I thought that by carrying an umbrella, I could shield myself from any pain that would ever come my way.

I was wrong.

What I didn’t know was that a lot of life can be like a hurricane.

There are times when the rushing currents sweep up and overwhelm you.

There are days when the waves leave you battered and bruised

coughing up water

on a sand bar

twenty miles from shore.

Don’t tell me there’s an umbrella strong enough to shield me from that blast.

I know better.

And I know that sometimes life is like a race.

Where you find yourself prepared to sprint to the finish line.

Except sometimes it’s not until the starting gun sounds that you realize you’ve tied your shoelaces together

And you’re running into a nose dive.

Well, I’ve learned something from that too.

You see, when else but when your arms are outstretched to catch a fall are you able to fully embrace life?

Bruises and all.

And I’ve learned that sometimes you just have to take a minute and breathe in the moment.

Because how do you know how much air you will need to breathe to take the plunge into that icy sea called life?

When I was a kid, I was told that it took both rain and sunlight to make a rainbow.

And while I know they were talking about the weather,

True beauty is born of both as well.

November Sky

Scene outside the window:

Sweeping winds of desolate daydreams,

Rattle knobbly branches;

Care-worn leaves limply lie.

It’s here that:

Memories of rosy summer,

Like rows of toppling toy soldiers,

Can’t stand against late-autumn’s breath.

Canvas of grey on grey:

Rolling cloud’s face revealed

Brings rain upon the windowpane,

Drops of November sky.

A Stroke of Lightning

Wow. Every now and then you really need to marvel at the awe-inspiring phenomena that abound in this world. And sometimes it’s the incredible minutest of details, bringing them about, that cause me to wonder. Take lightning for example. I am sure many would agree that their power and intensity are something to be appreciated… or even feared. We find ourselves many-a-time amazed at their spectacle when, in fact, the true miracle is that they even strike at all. For, despite their high voltages, “a bolt of lightning is not nearly strong enough to overcome the insulating properties of air.”¹ Another factor needs to come into play- something that is not based on the lightning’s power alone; and for all the high-speed cameras that are continuously being improved, its cause remains elusive.  

This one missing piece: the spark that starts it all. It is an unknown beyond one’s comprehension- something we cannot see nor fully grasp. And that’s where the light shines greatest in lightning. For if these tiny, unseen details are already taken care of in this world, I wonder what changes are possible in me.

¹Johnson, George. "Chasing Lightning." National Geographic. August 2012: 106. 

In the Peace of Dormant Day

Sunday, July 29, 6:15 am

I thought I was going to get to see the sun rise this morning. There was a brief moment when all was calm and the sky was streaked with red. The whole world was filled with anticipation it seemed; and I was part of it.  But then the clouds came and covered the small, wavering rays of the new day. This happened slowly, the clouds creeping over the horizon so that I didn’t notice it right away. Now two birds are bickering outside. The moment of peace has passed and all is beginning to awaken with a clatter to the hectic realism of life. There’s always tomorrow I suppose. Maybe then I’ll be able to hold on to the ever-seeking sun for a moment longer.

This is what I saw. It is also how I felt.

Sunny with a CHANCE of Rain (Or Why I Shouldn't Worry)

Some days the weatherman should look out the window. That’s what many of us may say to ourselves on the mornings when we hear their chipper voices advise that we might want to bring out an umbrella if we plan to venture forth, only to peer through the curtains and be greeted with a bright, cloudless day. Sometimes it seems they get it wrong more often than right. How many times have we been promised a big snow storm, dreaming of a snow day, and then wake up the next morning to a pitiful dusting of flurries? Or have a perfect beach day, all planned ahead of time, be ruined by a torrential downpour? But I would never blame a meteorologist. You can study data and make predictions for all you’re worth but it never guarantees a perfect forecast. It’s just a fact of life.

 I think many people’s biggest problem, myself included, is that we try too hard to see what’s ahead. We want some assurance that we’ll be prepared for what’s to come.  That’s why we worry and try to plan for the unknown. But it would never do to carry our “umbrellas” with us everywhere we go. Trying to predict what happens next only holds us back and weighs us down. It clouds our vision so to speak. If we are too intent on figuring out the forecast for our own life, we miss the beautiful day that is right in front of us.

In Stormy Weather

“

Some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm.

”

                                                                                                ~ Willa Carter

The rain will often give more than just a slick, cold slap in the face. It offers short moments to ponder and quick glimpses of peace in the most surprising of circumstances. There is something about being out in a storm; sort of like standing against everything life throws at you. Sometimes I’ll go out in a good rainstorm and laugh in its face. For a fleeting moment, I’m almost content. The winds may be roaring, lightning flashing and the rain falling in torrents around me, and yet, it’s during those most chaotic moments that I feel at peace. In some way, nature understands. It’s like my mind is in turmoil but I don’t have to articulate anything. It just is and, for the moment, that is enough.  

Or at least that’s what I’m learning.

A Busy Street After Rainfall

A busy street after rainfall:

Cars creating mist as they rumble through puddles.

Busy people oblivious to all that surrounds them,

Focussed on work, traffic and their impatience.

The city: a whirl of shouting, honking, rushing, and anger. 

A lone raindrop on an office window,

Struggling to remain rooted,

Drooping with the weight of its burden.

Agonizingly, it begins to

                                                drip

                                                                down

                                                                                the window pane

until it reaches the sill.

There it finally stops and clings. 

Seconds, so precious to some,

Wished away by the impatient ones.

Traffic         jerks                to            a              halt.

With a final gasp, the raindrop lets go.

A small splash on wet pavement.

Un-noticed by the busy street after rainfall.

(I'm sort of cheating here as this was written in July of 2010)

Vision Obscured

Shame is like a red hot curtain

It wears like a heavy cloak

And with it life’s a sweltering summer

I long for winter’s white.

Small Victories

Sometimes it's the smallest things that tug at the curtains of despair and nudge you onward. I am always amazed at how even the dreariest rainy day can be transformed into a sparkling sunrise. You just have to search for the source of light. Today it was a child's pair of pink and yellow polka-dotted rain boots left out on someone's front porch. They were quickly filling with water. In my mind, they took on a life of their own, bouncing through puddles: a spraying, laughing and dancing whimsy of delight. Moments such as these are like waking from a dream. Suddenly there's a little less denial, a bit of a smile and opened eyes. Small victories. I think they're shaped like teardrops. But it's those that fill one up with joy.