Sometimes I wonder why I think that waking up at 5:30 in the
morning will somehow help me be more prepared for the day. As if any amount of
worrying I can fit into the hour before I get up will benefit me in any way.
Today, as I’m about to embark on something new, I'm asking myself similar
questions. But I believe that it’s moments like these where it’s normal to stop
and ask myself what I’m getting into. Or at least that’s where I found
myself a few minutes ago.
“Oh my gosh, Emma. What are you doing?”
And I looked back on all the times that thought had crossed
my mind. Some of those answers I’m not really proud of, other instances I wish
I’d stopped a second to question further. But I’ve already lived those regrets.
So I ask myself another question. If that last part of my
life, with all its mistakes, regrets, memories, and accomplishments, was
finding my voice; where am I now? Where do I find myself at this start of
something new, with the million little thoughts running through my mind, hands
shaking, eyes looking ahead, brain always questioning, ears always listening?
As I take this all in, I think I feel more than hear the answer: In this moment
of doubt and worry and weakness, that’s where the next part begins. And that is
where I am at this moment: quavering and uncertain, but learning to sing.
Every great journey begins with one step. Sing away, enjoy the journey and remember, happiness isn't always found at the destination but in the journey itself!
ReplyDeleteUncle B
(Says he for whom the next few days, weeks even months hold much the same as the last 240 months... :) ).